i'm feeling lonely..feeling something is missing..i hate myself..i'm no longer the nice guy xing...many people said i have changed..don't ask me why cause i don't even know myself
maybe i am tired of wearing a mask the whole time..used to cover my ugly face..i don't want people to see my real face....
i have 3 close friend..1st one forever controlled by his parent..i'm nt angry wif him tat he alwayz cant come out, but is alway never even ask for permission..will plan everything that seem so nice..and in the end cancelled..sometime even worse never even ask, start saying his father will nv allow..i Hate him!
2nd one...never show the true side of him to mi..how i goin 2 trust him?..i hate him!
3rd one...forever talking big..i hate him!
but all of them show concern for me, when they know i'm feeling down
1st one, will everyday call to talk to me,want to know how i am doing
2nd one, once he know i need help, he sure will try and help me
3rd one alwayz trying to call me out and meet up to keep our friendship and help to solve my problem
but i NEVER try to contact them myself..i'm such a lousy friend..not worth to be their friend....when i know they have problem, ya i will try to help them but in my heart i feel that i'm not...i'm the Most lousy person in the world
today when to visit my grandma..been 1 month not seeing her...she look so weak...but can see from her eyes she was so happy to see me,and my uncle who dote me the most...keep talking to me non-stop. when i brought my grandma down to cut her hair..she cant even walk properly..onli afew steps she was like keep panting..at that moment i was having a kind of strange feelings..hard to describe jus feel like crying...after cutting her hair she was talking to me about my father...i feel that i'm such a lousy son..i hate myself... and Why i took so long to visit my grandma? is it so hard to find some time for her?
Everyday going to work must keep wearing a mask that look happy..i'm tired of that ..i want to rest..
the people there is so nice to me...got people teach all the skill..got people show concern to me..even got people buy sweet for me..
i love my friends, i love the people at work, i love my family
But i Just Hate Myself
i need to take a break from this place...let myself sort things up in me...i want some peace..i want some silence...
maybe i am tired of wearing a mask the whole time..used to cover my ugly face..i don't want people to see my real face....
i have 3 close friend..1st one forever controlled by his parent..i'm nt angry wif him tat he alwayz cant come out, but is alway never even ask for permission..will plan everything that seem so nice..and in the end cancelled..sometime even worse never even ask, start saying his father will nv allow..i Hate him!
2nd one...never show the true side of him to mi..how i goin 2 trust him?..i hate him!
3rd one...forever talking big..i hate him!
but all of them show concern for me, when they know i'm feeling down
1st one, will everyday call to talk to me,want to know how i am doing
2nd one, once he know i need help, he sure will try and help me
3rd one alwayz trying to call me out and meet up to keep our friendship and help to solve my problem
but i NEVER try to contact them myself..i'm such a lousy friend..not worth to be their friend....when i know they have problem, ya i will try to help them but in my heart i feel that i'm not...i'm the Most lousy person in the world
today when to visit my grandma..been 1 month not seeing her...she look so weak...but can see from her eyes she was so happy to see me,and my uncle who dote me the most...keep talking to me non-stop. when i brought my grandma down to cut her hair..she cant even walk properly..onli afew steps she was like keep panting..at that moment i was having a kind of strange feelings..hard to describe jus feel like crying...after cutting her hair she was talking to me about my father...i feel that i'm such a lousy son..i hate myself... and Why i took so long to visit my grandma? is it so hard to find some time for her?
Everyday going to work must keep wearing a mask that look happy..i'm tired of that ..i want to rest..
the people there is so nice to me...got people teach all the skill..got people show concern to me..even got people buy sweet for me..
i love my friends, i love the people at work, i love my family
But i Just Hate Myself
i need to take a break from this place...let myself sort things up in me...i want some peace..i want some silence...
